July 30-- Danele comes up and gives me a hug. She has a tube up her nose and is so bloated I do not recognize her. Do they treat cancer with steroids?

Sept. 6-- Tim and Leigh get married.

Sept. 27-- My heart dies. Some day I will say it went quietly, without complaint. Just curled up in a ball inside my chest and went to sleep. But I can't say that now.

Oct. 2-- Jeff and Naomi start trying to get pregnant.

Oct. 6-- At Chris' 40th birthday party, she announces she and Lance are five months' pregnant with their first child.
This is the last night I see Johnny, laying down the rhythm for Jay and Morwenna, grinning from ear to ear.

Oct. 13-- Jen and Jesse have a baby.

Oct. 17-- A girl disappears from the Metallica concert.

Oct. 19-- Two of my students are hospitalized with swine flu. One student arrives late to her mid-term because of an emergency ultrasound. The baby's heart rate was elevated.

Oct. 22-- Johnny dies in a house fire. He was asleep in his father's apartment. The bedroom door was locked and no one could reach him. He was 45.

Oct. 24-- My student Sylvia e-mails me to say the biopsy was positive; she needs a tumor removed from her lymph node.

Walking home from downtown, I see a man sobbing audibly on the street. Sobbing so hard I think he may vomit. As soon as he is out of sight, I hear a shot. I run to the bar and the convenience store, but it is past closing time. I approach a girl getting into her car, saying into her cell phone, "BJ's really angry...." I say, "Excuse me, I just saw a man....." She says, "I know." I say, "Do you know if he has a gun on him?" She says, "He doesn't." I say, "Are you sure, because....?" She says, "He just kicked something."

Danele is dead. She leaves behind a teenage son and many, many people who remember how beautiful she was.

I invited 45 people to my party tomorrow. Six people said yes. Ten people said no. That leaves 29 people unaccounted for. The question is: How much potato salad should I make? This is the kind of word problem they don't prepare you for in middle school.

I haven't been in favor of prosecuting George Bush and Dick Cheney for war crimes, although I think they're probably guilty, because in this political environment I think it's a dangerous precedent to criminalize our nation's foreign policy.

The Clinton impeachment was payback for Nixon. I was naive and idealistic enough to believe that Paula Jones' court case was a great victory for democracy. Because whether she was right or wrong, it showed that no one in our country is above the law. Even the president had to answer to a common citizen. I didn't take seriously Clinton's objection that the case would be a distraction from the serious business of running the country. The Republicans turned it into a fishing expedition and the Lewinsky scandal proved me very, very wrong. I am against using criminal charges as an instrument of politics because I've seen the corruption that can ensue. I don't want Obama being convicted for violating Pakistani airspace the next time there is a Republican in office.

But I think there may be room for compromise.

Let's ship Bush and Cheney off to the Hague, in exchange for putting Geithner, Daschle, and Rangel in jail for tax evasion. Perhaps they could get probation for doing some community service: like their jobs for free.

I am scrupulous about paying my taxes to the penny. I don't have a degree in law or politics or economics, but I can figure out how much I owe the government. And I make very, very little money. No one who doesn't pay their taxes should be allowed to receive my money as a salary. These men are an embarrassment to the principles of shared sacrifice and an outrage to citizens who believe no one is above the law.

I've always maintained that politicians are mostly good people trying to what they think is best for the country. For the first time in my life, Bush and Cheney made me ashamed to be an American. The recent tax scandals (and why isn't the press using the word "scandal"?) have made me ashamed to be a Democrat.

1. What, exactly, did I do to make you fear me, and why in the world did you stick around if I'm so scary? (I'm getting a complex...)

You were prone to random outbursts of violence which included punching, kicking, and biting. You left bruises and holes in sweaters (from your rings.) But Madelyn, 1) your uninhibited expression of emotion was one of your most charming qualities, and 2) I've always liked being the sidekick. I was perfectly happy to let you beat me up and Sally put me down intellectually. Still would be. I have a pretty strong personality, but maybe that's why I'm happiest in a relationship where s/he's the cowboy and I'm the Indian.

2. You mentioned never having taken an illegal drug. I know you're not opposed to being altered, since you drink alcohol. Is it a moral, legal, or other qualm about illegal drugs, or some other reason?

I think it's changed over the years. Initially, it was that I was opposed to being altered. Then, it was that I believe in a social contract, which for me means obeying laws that do not require me to fundamentally violate my conscience. Filling out the 25 things meme made me realize how much of my identity is defined by what I don't do (drive, watch television) so I'm sure that's part of it. But now I wonder if I'm just genetically a rule-follower and everything else is just a rationalization for my inclinations.

3. What is your favorite photo or yourself (describe it, if it's not digitized), and why?

It's a photograph of me at 18 years old in my college dorm sitting on a bed playing pattycake with my gay friend Brian. My hair is in a ponytail and I have a huge smile on my face. It's such a sincere expression of joy that it immediately brings me back to that feeling.

4. What will you name your child, once you have one, and why? I assume you've got names picked out. If not, why not?

Marlaine: 1) because of course it will be a girl, 2) because it is an amalgam of my first and middle name. Obviously, I just want to clone myself. But doesn't everyone?

5. I may already know the answers to all of these, but not remember. Tell me something about yourself that you KNOW I don't know. And then tell me why the heck you've been keeping it from me? ;)

If there's anything about me you don't know I'm sure it's because 1) I've never told anyone, in which case it's too private for this forum, OR 2) it's never come up. But I honestly can't think of anything. Did you know I lived in Canada when I was twelve? It's a lame answer, but I can't think of anything else.

Your result for Howard Gardner's Eight Types of Intelligence Test ...

Linguistic

12% Logical, 35% Spatial, 61% Linguistic, 37% Intrapersonal, 27% Interpersonal, 29% Musical, 22% Bodily-Kinesthetic and 20% Naturalistic!

"Verbal-linguistic intelligence has to do with words, spoken or written. People with verbal-linguistic intelligence display a facility with words and languages. They are typically good at reading, writing, telling stories and memorizing words and dates. They tend to learn best by reading, taking notes, listening to lectures, and via discussion and debate. They are also frequently skilled at explaining, teaching and oration or persuasive speaking. Those with verbal-linguistic intelligence learn foreign languages very easily as they have high verbal memory and recall, and an ability to understand and manipulate syntax and structure.

Careers which suit those with this intelligence include writers, lawyers, philosophers, journalists, politicians and teachers."

Who was your FIRST prom date?
Donnie Courville. He went to my boyfriend’s high school. I called him up and got him to ask me, because my boyfriend thought proms were stupid. I didn’t even have to hint or anything; I just called him on the phone and he asked me to go to prom. We went to the mall together to buy my dress. But then on prom night, he pouted because he knew I’d rather have been there with my boyfriend. 

Do you still talk to your FIRST love?
I called him several years ago, the day before he moved from Boston to California to be with his girlfriend. It was a coincidence that I called him that night, because I would never have been able to find him again.

What was your FIRST alcoholic drink?
I may have had a sip of champagne at family weddings, but my first drink was a glass of sangria in Spain when I was fourteen.

What was your FIRST job?
Besides babysitting, my first job was working in the office of welfare fraud in Baton Rouge when I was seventeen. I entered the social security numbers of clients who had had their cases closed into a computer to see if they were receiving benefits in another household. Then I reported them to my supervisor to follow up. Occasionally she would tell me how many thousands of dollars I had saved the agency that month. I had my own office and listened to the radio all day. It was a good job.

What was your FIRST car?
I have never had a car or learned to drive.

Who was your FIRST grade teacher?
Mrs. Fontenot. She didn’t believe me when I told her I knew how to read.

Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?
New Orleans

Who was your FIRST best friend and are you still friends with them?
Dina, the little girl who grew up across the street. I haven’t seen her in a couple of years, but we are still friends and I am godmother to her third child Brock who just finished basic training in Fort Sill, Oklahoma.

What was your FIRST sport played?
As a kid, I never played a sport that I wasn’t required to for P.E., but I guess dodge ball in first grade. I’ve played ultimate Frisbee and whiffle ball as an adult, under duress.

Where was your FIRST sleep over?
Maybe my friend Missy’s house. We tried to make scrambled eggs for breakfast, but used way too much milk.

Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time?
I was the flower girl in my mother’s first cousin’s wedding. Her name is Tana. Her husband Dale is still my dentist.

What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?
Turn on “Morning Edition” on NPR.

What was the FIRST concert you ever went to?
Slyy Foxx, Ready for the World, and Kool & the Gang at Cajun Field. I went with Donnie Courville (see “first prom date”), but I ended up sitting on the shoulders of Nathan Austin, who became my next boyfriend (who also wouldn’t take me to prom, so I asked his little brother David.)

FIRST tattoo or piercing?
My aunt Patsy talked me into getting my ears pierced. They did them simultaneously with those stud-gun/staplers at the mall. I was very nervous and it hurt a lot. I would never do it again, and I don’t have or want any tattoos.

FIRST foreign country you went to for vacation?
Although I lived Canada when I was 12, the first country I ever went to on vacation was Spain. I also toured Italy, France, Monaco, Switzerland and England on that same trip.

What was your FIRST run in with the law?
Pulled out of the backseat of a car, making out with my first boyfriend Robin when I was fifteen, after dark behind Cypress Swamp at the USL Student Union.

When was your FIRST detention?
I was sent home in the third grade for wearing a white cardigan that my great grandmother knitted for me over my school uniform; only navy blue cardigans were allowed. In sixth grade, I was given trash duty at recess for a week for fighting with Wendy Claxton, a bully who had deliberately pushed my books off my desk. She got the same punishment.

What was the FIRST state you lived in?
Louisiana

Who was the FIRST person to break your heat?
David Zubkoff broke my heart on a pretty regular basis throughout college.

Who was your FIRST roommate?
Julia Watkins, senior year of high school. She was of Brazilian descent, and a singer, and absolutely gorgeous. I used to get up early in the morning just to listen to her sing in the shower. She used a cosmetic case as a slide for her guitar. I thought she was so cool. She hated me, I think mostly because my side of the room was messy. When I borrowed a blanket off her bed one day, it was the last straw and she had me moved to another room.

Where did you go on your FIRST limo ride?
To the train station. My friend Willie Kolarik and I ordered a taxi, and they sent a limo. But strange and exciting things always happen when I’m hanging out with Willie.

Who will be the FIRST to repost this?
No one, unless they are just trying to prove me wrong.

You are a Poodle! Intelligence, style and good looks in one able-bodied, well-manicured package? But of course! You are a Poodle, and proud of it. You scoff in the general direction of passers-by who cast admiring (or is it amused?) glances your way, knowing doggone well that if your private jet were not waiting to whisk you off for a spa weekend getaway, you would handily paddle their hindquarters in a game of Trivial Pursuit. Blindfolded. You are well-educated and enjoy the finer things in life, but are not above taking an impromptu skinny dip in an old limestone quarry. It would, however, be soooo much more convenient if said quarry came with a towel boy and swim-up cocktail service, of course.

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Optional extra: Post a comment here at www.verygoodtaste.co.uk linking to your results.

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
47. Chicken tikka masala
46. Fugu
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

Whenever I walk in on them doing something they find particularly exciting, say watching birds on the feeders outside the window, they run away, looking at me over their shoulders guiltily.

http://calorielab.com/news/2008/02/12/calories-burned-during-sex/

Those of you who were celebrating Talk-like-a-pirate Day may be particularly interested in the Caribbean Pirate position. 

Hope it's a good one!

01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink.
02. Swam with wild dolphins.
03. Climbed a mountain.
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive.
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid.
06. Held a tarantula.
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone.
08. Said "I love you" and meant it.
09. Hugged a tree.
10. Done a striptease.
11. Bungee jumped.
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea.
14. Stayed up all night long, and watched the sun rise.
15. Seen the Northern Lights.
16. Gone to a huge sports game.
17. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables.
19. Touched an iceberg.
20. Slept under the stars
21. Changed a baby's diaper.
22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon.
23. Watched a meteor shower.
24. Gotten drunk on champagne.
25. Given more than you can afford to charity.
26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope.
27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment.
28. Had a food fight.
29. Bet on a winning horse.
30. Taken a sick day when you're not ill.
31. Asked out a stranger.
32. Had a snowball fight.
33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier.
34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can.
35. Held a lamb.
36. Enacted a favourite fantasy.
37. Taken a midnight skinny dip.
38. Taken an ice cold bath.
39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar.
40. Seen a total eclipse.
41. Ridden a roller coaster.
42. Hit a home run.
43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days.
44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking.
45. Adopted an accent for an entire day.
46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors.
47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment.
48. Had two hard drives for your computer.
49. Visited all 50 states.
50. Loved your job for all accounts.
51. Taken care of someone who was shit faced.
52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied.
53. Had amazing friends.
54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country.
55. Watched wild whales.
56. Stolen a sign.
57. Backpacked in Europe.
58. Taken a road-trip.
59. Rock climbing.
60. Lied to foreign government's official in that country to avoid notice.
61. Midnight walk on the beach.
62. Sky diving.
63. Visited Ireland.
64. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love.
65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them.
66. Visited Japan.
67. Bench pressed your own weight.
68. Milked a cow.
69. Alphabetized your albums.
70. Pretended to be a superhero.
71. Sung karaoke.
72. Lounged around in bed all day.
73. Posed nude in front of strangers.
74. Scuba diving.
75. Got it on to "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye.
76. Kissed in the rain.
77. Played in the mud.
78. Played in the rain.
79. Gone to a drive-in movie theatre.

 80. Done something you should regret, but don't regret it.
81. Visited the Great Wall of China.
82. Discovered that someone who's not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog.
83. Dropped Windows in favour of something better.
84. Started a business.
85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken.
86. Toured ancient sites.
87. Taken a martial arts class.
88. Sword fought for the honour of a woman.
89. Played D&D or another RPG for more than 6 hours straight.
90. Gotten married.
91. Been in a movie.
92. Crashed a party.
93. Loved someone you shouldn't have.
94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy.
95. Gotten divorced.
96. Had sex at the office.
97. Gone without food for 5 days.
98. Made cookies from scratch.
99. Won first prize in a costume contest.
100. Ridden a gondola in Venice.
101. Gotten a tattoo.
102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on.
103. Rafted the Snake River.
104. Been on television news programs as an "expert".
105. Got flowers for no reason.
106. Masturbated in a public place.
107. Got so drunk you don't remember anything.
108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug.
109. Performed on stage.
110. Been to Las Vegas.
111. Recorded music.
112. Eaten shark.
113. Had a one-night stand.
114. Gone to Thailand.
115. Seen Siouxsie live.
116. Bought a house.
117. Been in a combat zone.
118. Buried one/both of your parents.
119. Shaved or waxed your pubic hair off.
120. Been on a cruise ship.
121. Spoken more than one language fluently.
122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone.
123. Bounced a check
124. Performed in Rocky Horror.
125. Read - and understood - your credit report.
126. Raised children.
127. Recently bought and played with a favourite childhood toy.
128. Followed your favourite band/singer on tour.
129. Created and named your own constellation of stars.
130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country.
131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did.
132. Called or written to your MP.
133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over.
134. ...more than once?
135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge.
136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking.
137. Had an abortion or your female partner did.
138. Had plastic surgery.
139. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived.
140. Wrote articles for a large publication.
141. Lost over 100 pounds.
142. Held someone while they were having a flashback.
143. Piloted an airplane.
144. Petted a stingray.
145. Broken someone's heart.
146. Helped an animal give birth.
147. Been fired or laid off from a job.
148. Won money on a TV game show.
149. Broken a bone.
150. Killed a human being.
151. Gone on an African photo safari.
152. Ridden a motorcycle.
153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100 mph.
154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced.
155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol.
156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild.
157. Ridden a horse.
158. Had major surgery.
159. Had sex on a moving train.
160. Had a snake as a pet.
161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon.
162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing. .
163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours.
164. Visited more foreign countries than US states.
165. Visited all 7 continents.
166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days.
167. Eaten kangaroo meat.
168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground.
169. Been a sperm or egg donor.
170. Eaten sushi.
171. Had your picture in the newspaper.
172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime.
173. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about.
174. Gotten someone fired for their actions.
175. Gone back to school.
176. Parasailed.
177. Changed your name.
178. Petted a cockroach.
179. Eaten fried green tomatoes.
180. Read The Iliad.
181. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read.
182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them.
183. ...and gotten barred from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you.
184. Taught yourself art from scratch.
185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating.
186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt.
187. Skipped all your school reunions.
188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language.
189. Been elected to public office.
190. Written your own computer language.
191. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream.
192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care.
193. Built your own PC from parts.
194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you.
195. Had a booth at a street fair.
196. Dyed your hair.
197. Been a DJ.
198. Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal.
199. Written your own role playing game.
200. Given a tramp a sponge-bath
201. masturbated a caged laboratory animal
202. pretented you liked kevin-smith movies when you secretly didn't
203. deliberately, personally and purposefully insult someone to their face to cause as much harm as possible
204. sold any part of your body, or any product from it, for money?
205. had a secret published in post-secret?
206. sent food or wine back in a restaurant?
207. and regretted it?
208. Seen a bioluminescent tide.
209. Robbed a grave?

210. Seen the Alhambra?

Picture of me on Voltaire's myspace page:
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=8202636&albumID=1849656&imageID=38606630

Last night I went to see Doc Watson. I saw him for the first time at Merlefest a couple of weeks ago, the bluegrass festival in Wilkesboro, NC that he hosts every year as a memorial to his son Merle who died in 1985.

Here's a picture of me my best friend found on flickr of me dancing at the Pine Leaf Boys set at Merlefest. The Pine Leaf Boys are a Cajun band from my hometown of Lafayette, LA. I've now seen them on three coasts!
http://flickr.com/photos/sweetashvegas/2450452388/

Okay, so here's my maiden post. If I like it, maybe I'll do it more often.

Saturday night we went to the first night of The Cure's American tour at the Patriot Center, up around DC. We traveled with Rob's friends Grace and Christopher in their VW bus. Grace is Rob's massage therapist, and her husband is a hairstylist. They are an exceptionally gorgeous couple. Grace is part Native American and has impossibly high cheekbones. Christopher is more all-American hipster, but too beautiful for a straight man. They have been together since high school and have three boys who look like Calvin Klein models: Running Bird, River, and Holden. Running Bird, the oldest, is fifteen. I told Christopher I'm staying single until one of his sons is old enough to marry.

The show was terrific, surpassing all expectations. The opener was a London band called 65 Days of Static, who played instrumental industrial music. I'm not an industrial fan in general, but this music was really beautiful. The Cure played for three hours and took three encores. Robert Smith looked and sounded amazing. They did every single you can think of (with the exception of "Fascination Street"), and lots of great new songs, including "Perfect Boy" and "Freak Show," which is my new theme song.

Conscious of my last goth show in DC, I took pains to dress up, although I needn't have bothered. Apparently the dress code in Virginia is determined by the place you go to see a show, not the sound of the music. For instance, Voltaire (who doesn't sound a bit goth) played at a goth club night in Charlottesville and it was a big dress up event. When She Wants Revenge played a college club, it was all frat boys. Not a goth kid in sight. When I went to see Siouxsie in a club in DC, I wore a Sioxsie T-shirt, a pair of bike shorts and no make-up and was MORTIFIED by the DC goths in their regalia. I felt like country-come-to-town. But Saturday night I was one of very few people who dressed up for the stadium show. Oh well, I had fun anyway.

I'm afraid my presence was irritating to the row of people behind me, however. You see, I was engaging in a particularly obnoxious form of anti-social behavior: I was dancing at a concert. Now if one of them had tapped me on the shoulder and asked me nicely to sit down, I probably would have vacated my seat and joined Rob who was dancing in the back row. But since they insisted on yelling obscenities at me all through the show, I stayed right where I was and enjoyed the concert immensely. I acknowledged them exactly once, during the very first song, when I turned around and smiled and said very sweetly, "My, but y'all are so young to be such fuddy-duddies." Yes, I used the f-word; I couldn't help myself.

What performers really want when they are playing their hearts out is for you to sit quietly munching on your popcorn. In fact, the word "dance music" is a misleading appellation. It should be called "beer and popcorn" music, and it is best enjoyed while sitting on your lame-ass and text-messaging all your friends to complain about the woman "with the big tits" in front of you who won't sit down. Anyone who who knows me will be amused and a little confused at that last description of me, as I was myself. I thought about thanking the young man who said it, and then explaining that it was merely an illusion of breasts created by the corset, but then I thought better of it.

I should be embarrassed to admit this, but I enjoyed the concert all the more for their insults. I was all dressed up, listening to The Cure, and there were perfect strangers yelling at me. It was high school all over again!